“What’s Your Porn Name?” January 17, 2013

It was a busy day today.  A lot happened that was both good and bad and then I drove home.  Then I learned something really important, something life changing…today I found out that my porn name is “Hans Silver.”

You may wonder why and how this came about?  I’ve done a lot in my life.  There are definitely activities that I regret and have been teased about, things I really would not like spread around but I have never been part of a porn feature film, or for that matter, a private movie featuring anything that I wouldn’t want the world or my mother to see.

So what the heck is a porn name?  More to the point, why does it matter?

I am a firm believer in the pseudonym or pen-name.  “Olaf Danielson” although steeped in family tradition and fact, is not my Christened name.  It is not however, a “porn name.”  Apparently your porn name is a name derived from the name of your first pet with your last name either the city you grew up in or the street you lived on and was invented in the 1970s as a way to give you an alias for adult adventures.

If you don’t have a pet or the pet is the wrong sex, you can use your middle name instead.  Hans, was my first dog, a St. Bernard, if it matters.  I grew up on County Highway M but at the intersection of Silver Lake Road, so “Hans Silver” is my porn name.

This all came to light by our now former director of the EPA, Lisa Jackson used an alias of “Richard Windsor” to write apparently emails she wanted anonymous.  Unfortunately she denied it was actually a porn name although Richard was her dog and she grew up on Windsor Avenue.  Well she resigned so we’ll never really know, maybe she really was working in Seamy Valley.

So is it a problem when the EPA director writes emails encouraging activists to be against projects involved with the EPA?  I would think so.   I guess if she just had a little hot side life as posing as Richard on hot crazy girl and guy/girl porn films, she might have been better off.

I think having an alter ego is a good thing.  I like my writing alter ego Olaf because I can say things more honestly and better but you know I may have to just be the hot, manly “Hans Silver.”  Hans may be more of a stud than Olaf. I am thinking of a film right now but every star needs a co-star.

My wife’s porn name is “Trixie Townview,” and she is a real hottie, really a wild woman.  Oh…Trixie, ooh la la (she is French, did I mention that?  Well maybe pretend French).   I’m thinking of a title for our first movie, something like “Four Hairy Peckers from South  Dakota” starring Trixie Townview and Hans Silver.  The movie may just be about the mating habits of the Hairy woodpecker or then again maybe NOT…ooh la la!  Wouldn’t you want to know?

So what’s you Porn Name?

Be bad my friends, be very very bad,

Olaf

4 thoughts on ““What’s Your Porn Name?” January 17, 2013

  1. I think that Piddler Belfast cannot compete with Hans Silver. I imagine that Blue Boobies will make a guest appearance along with Wagtails as you cast your movie!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

     

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>