“The final countdown.” September 4, 2012

As I write this blog today we are down to something slightly over 109 days until the end of the world as we know it.  No, I’m not talking about the election, nor till the Vikings are officially eliminated from the playoffs.  What I am talking about is the end of the Mayan Calendar…the Y2K event of this decade…the end of the world as we know it…this time around.

Much like this sign I ran across in the Badlands National Park, pictured here, we are countlessly being warned of things.  Hanta virus is spreading around Yosemite killing everyone, Ebola virus, Monkey Pox, Bird Flu, something is going to kill us off, and with less than 109 days left, they better hurry since with billions of people on the planet, it is going to take some doing to kill all of us.

In 1842, members of an Adventist sect looking at the signs that had been occurring around them, made a surprising prophesy.  Great cosmic signs have traditionally been interpreted as the fulfillment of Bible prophecy with these signs heralding the nearing Second Coming.  Using the sixth seal (Revelation 6:12–17) of the “seven seals“, and Jesus’ end-times sermon in Matthew 24:29 and Mark 13:24–25 followers came to the conclusion that the 1755 Lisbon earthquake in Portugal, New England’s Dark Day of 1780, and a spectacular meteor shower in 1833 were these great signs and using math, deduced that the second coming of Jesus was set to be October 22, 1844, twelve hundred days away.

Critics said they over interpreted the signs, which would also be my review of these events as there have been worse earthquakes and darker dark days before and since but come that cool day in October, wearing ascension robes they climbed upon their roofs and waited and they waited.  That night their leader, sure he had made an error, refigured his calculations and yes, he had forgot that there was NO year zero (or something like that and come October 22, 1845, they did it again, and waited and waited…

There have been other dates of apocalyptic pronouncements, and like the one in 1844, they came and went.  Some of these have involved mass suicide and others have only involved like the Adventist date, a big disappointment.  Not to be outdone by these Christians, other people claiming to be have special knowledge of the future have offered their advice, one of these is a Guru named Kalki Bhagavan.  This supposed reincarnation of the God Vishnu and founder of something called the Oneness University has said that 2012 will mark the end of the “Degenerative Age.”  It sounds scary especially coming from a man-God such as this.

Now when I think of Gurus, I tend to think of Mike Myers in the Love Guru.  I’m fighting the urge to think of elephants having sex and Myers floating pillow.  Trying to stay on point…Bhagavan could be better described as the money guru as he somehow tells his followers that for some money for various special literature, he can help intercede on your behalf, allowing you passage into the next age.  A question I have.  “Why would our money now have any value in the next age?”

I can’t think of Bhagavan any longer as I am transported in thought to Myer’s character fighting other guru initiates from another ashram using a contest called “stink mop.”  This game features two Guru initiates dueling with a urine soaked mop and the first to be hit in the face looses.  Maybe Bhagavan was a winner in such a fight and that is how he became the reincarnated Hindu God.  All I can say to such a thought is “mariskahargatay..” wait a minute, that was another Blog post….focus focus here, Olaf…

I don’t have much advice on this topic but I think some good advice would be to beware of gurus wanting money …or even other ‘religious’ experts promising salvation for a stated sum of money.  What will happen on December 23, 2012?  Well, let me guess.  It is going to be cold, AND the wind is going to be out of the northwest…like it is every day in December and January in South Dakota.  The Democrats will be mad at the Republicans and the Republicans will be mad at democrats.  Nobody will want to budge on the budget and fiscal reforms that end at year’s end and by 5pm in a fit of bipartisanship they will sign a two month extension and adjourn for Christmas.

The clock will tick down to midnight and then you will wonder, wonder which midnight the Mayans actually meant?  We then shall assume it will be Central Time in America as this is where the Mayans lived.  So at five PM we will look back at the clock and count down.  At midnight, yours truly will go to sleep and in the morning, I will, in all likelihood, look outside and see snow, brown grass and feel the wind on the walls of my house.

What if the world does end on that December night?  Maybe we do all get the plague and die.  Well, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.  That night in preparation I will do what all of should do every night: I’ll hug my kids, kiss the wife, toast with my favorite Glenfiddich Whisky while petting our cat Snowball and go to sleep.  If morning comes, it will come without any help from me or anyone…and if not, well, at least I won’t have to write another blog for the next week, and none of you will have to read it.

When will be the next end of the world?  Hopefully it will be in a few years.

To the end of the world…as we know it, my friends!

Olaf

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