This statement may be a bit crass but I’ll say it anyways. What in the hell is a “Club Calf?” This is a question that has bothered me for weeks. I’ve heard of Club Med, Club Cars,..just about Club anything but what the heck, I’m toning it down now, is a “Club Calf?”
This question arose courtesy of an innocent sign, sitting on a fence in central Oklahoma. The sign and I were minding my own businesses until I took out my camera to photograph a bird. I tend to read a sign when you are forced to move the gate in front of it and so the second time through I looked at it closer. It all seemed innocent enough, but what the heck is it, what the heck is a club calf? I went to the first source, the internet and I typed in www.clubcalf.com, this might have been my first mistake. What I got was a sexy, tattooed blond looking at me above her glasses with a nice little heart revealing above her cleavage. She looked devious like she knew a secret, yes the secret of the club calf and she unfortunately wasn’t sharing. She stated on her home page:
“Different – Yes! But different is good! Why do the same boring marketing? Give us a try and see why we have millions of visitors and growing! As the leading club calf site on the web….”
Again I ponder, what the heck is a Club Calf? Their registered trademark is “Showbarn to the world!” Now I’m thinking this must be some secret men’s club. “Show barn,” May it be Oklahoma slang for showing it all, I wonder? Those tattoos ARE Hot! Really hot……? I don’t know what to think. I clicked another site, one that promised that it could deliver all your seamen. Sounding too kinky for me, I decided that maybe this was a question that nice people didn’t ask in public. They didn’t answer the basic question either.
Then I pondered the larger issue noted by the clubcalf.com sight. “Daring to be different.” I have some experience in marketing and I am pleasantly surprised every time I see something new or a good slogan.
Feeling that I need to repent here thinking of seaman and hot women, let us look at churches. A recent epidemic in Christianity is a fear of calling your church what it actually is. Instead of First Baptist, a church changes its name to the ‘Grace Community.’ Or Springfield Evangelical Lutheran (names changed to protect the innocent) has become, the Three Oaks Fellowship. The word church seems to be passé. What is wrong with being Baptist, or Lutheran, or Methodist, or for that matter, in some cases what is so bad in calling a church, ‘a church.’ Why has it become taboo. What if stores just called themselves the “The four winds experience’ or the ‘Grace Purchasing Center?’ You wouldn’t know what they sold? Would you be more likely to attend? I think not. What is wrong with being Baptist, you are what you are.
I saw a church in St. Peter Minnesota the other day that sort has taken this to the perfect end, cool marketing, but honest in who they are, well sort of. They call themselves the “Jesus Community” on the big sign with in small lettering they describe themselves further, “a Pentecostal Community.” You don’t see many churches have Jesus in their name so I applaud this church. I’m not sure though if it is a Community or not, St. Peter is a ‘community.’ This church is just a body of believers. Community is a stretch in my use of the language.
So what the heck is a Club Calf?
I found the Oklahoma Club Calf Association website and the link on the top of the page caught my attention. www.cruelgirls.com. It looks like they are advertising jeans, as all I see is the female bottom, but here is what they say:
“There’s a favorite part in every girl that makes her feel confident. It could be the curve of her hips, her piercing eyes, the flip of her hair…Or something much deeper, like the strength of her will, her lighthearted attitude or her fun-loving ways.”
This, again, sounds pretty suggestive to me. Is this sex, jeans, or cattle, I’m still confused. “Cruel girls,” this must be sexual slang, like ‘club calves…..?’ Utterly ridiculous, well Utterly Entertaining is a gentleman’s club in west Texas, specializing in female anatomy, so puns and slang seem to be everywhere in marketing these days.
I don’t know anymore. I see links for club calf paradise, club calf heaven, I looked on a few sites and one of which looks like an auction site for women and dates. There must be more to cattle breeding than meets the eye. To me an Angus calf is a calf, just like a Baptist church is a Baptist church, and all of this fancy talk is just over this writer’s head. Please if anyone of you is out there, please blog to me what the heck this is as I’m afraid that I’m either going to infect my computer with a virus or have all these links show up to potential adult entertainment sites.
Stay breeding my friends, or at least join the calf club, but maybe you shouldn’t let your wife or girlfriend know.